Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize