just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
