I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
