I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
