Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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