I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
