Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
