wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
