I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
