Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
worst night to have a conscience
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
