You're my little dorito
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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