anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
