i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
