You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
