He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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