he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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