i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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