Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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