Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
