he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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