my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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