ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
