I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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