You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
