So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
