The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
