Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
