Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
