I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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