I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
