i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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