id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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