and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
