I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
