Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
