I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
