he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
