In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
