it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
