I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You're like the curious george of whores
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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