ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
