My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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