Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I supernannyed him into submission
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
