i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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