There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
