she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
