just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
