That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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