I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
