I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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