it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
