Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
