whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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