he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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