At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
